Being Invisible

Why is it, when someone comes to you with a question and you give them the answer that they are looking for, they feel the need to go to someone else, get the same damn answer, then decide that "oh ok, I guess it's the right answer after all!" GAHHHHH!!!! Then why ask me the question in the first place??? This seems to be the theme of the week and it's only Monday! So, why did I title this blog being invisible? Just how I feel today.... I was supposed to meet a dear friend yesterday for lunch, since I was on his end of town and called and left a message Friday on my way out of town, called Saturday to let him know what time I was leaving on Sunday and then when I was 18 miles away, giving him plenty of time to meet me. Did he even bother to give a curiosity call? No, did he bother to call me today? No. So I have to admit I was childish and left a rather rude message on his voice mail. Why? Because I could have met some friends who'd invited me to join them, instead, I kept on driving home with my disappointed daughter who not only missed lunch with her favorite uncle, but also got cheated out of shopping because we were supposed to "meet him." Aggravation has now spilled over into Monday, since I was also "promised" a belated birthday lunch and an afternoon adventure. How did I spend it? Cleaning while those that had assured me that we would spend time together went out together and left be behind...with what??? Yet another I.O.U for lunch and my birthday....Mind you my birthday was almost three weeks ago and this lunch and shopping thing, when it's promised, seems to never get filled. I would probably cash in a good 4 or 5 days like this. So being Invisible seems to be the theme this week and like I had metioned earlier, it's only monday. Annoyed, hurt and Invisible. So thank you for skipping our lunch date, for asking for my advice then thinking I was wrong, only to find out I was right, and thank you for forgetting my birthday...yet again.....

The little things.....

I'm not a materialistic person, never have been probably never will be. I don't follow fashions or fads, hair trends or makeup. I have an addiction to good coffee (actually I will drink any coffee.) I have a deep appreciation for a good book, one that will keep me in suspense or one that will keep me up until two in the morning, because I can't put it down. A good manicure in a crazy color, one that will make you smile anytime that you look at your fingers. As silly as it sounds, people tend to over look those simple things or take them for granted. So stop for a moment, take a breath and brew up a cup of coffee. Make a list of the little things that make you happy and do one each day. Maybe read that book until two in the morning, or have that cookie, or paint your nails green....just do it and enjoy.

A New Project is Taking Shape

Old man winter has not been my friend. Living in the Midwest where snow and ice is an every day part of December can be a royal pain in the bum! Since we have spent many long snowy days indoors, I have turned to other creative outlets and taken on the challenge that a dear friend and author had presented. While reading an article a while back I was challenged to "write" my ideas down and write a book. Ok, now those of you that know me know that I not only work full time but have three kids of my own. But....that dare to take those few characters that had been forming in the back of my mind and put them on paper became tempting. So I started to give form to the voices in my head. (ok, I know what your thinking, but any writer has voices in their head.....and sometimes those voices have good ideas.) So, in blogs to come, I plan on introducing a few of those characters to my readers and hopefully a chapter or two...so stay tuned kiddies.

A new view for the New Year

I have managed to actually miss blogging for the majority of January, rather I have spent it people watching, which is becoming a new favorite past time for me. Now, you'll have to take into consideration that understanding the behavior of the human psyche is part of what I do for a living, without going into detail in what it is that I do. The other reason I enjoy it, well it's often better than cable television! I'm not a sorority girl, not a huge social butterfly, I never have been and let's face it kiddies I never will be. I have a comfortable group of friends that I prefer to socialize with and these are the people that know that even though I love them to death, my children are the most important thing in my life!!!
So, this years ramblings will delve into a whole new and additional blog. For the handful of silent followers that I have here, I will continue life in the real world, But I want to take my people watching to a new level and actually keep a blog on what makes people tick. SO coming soon will be a new addition, the title is still in the works, but the focus will be...well people.
So stay tuned!!!

Holy Crow, the school actually says Merry Christmas!

"Merry Christmas." That was the greeting that reached me today in the school lot as I dropped of my little man. Now, we've recently moved and my children are new to their respective schools this year. The old district that we were in, happened to be very "politically correct." It was always happy holidays, there were no Christmas parties, but holiday celebrations. Menorahs, Kwanzaa candles, Christmas trees, stockings and observance if Ramadan. Now, kids were discouraged from saying Merry Christmas, even though the schools were on CHRISTMAS vacation. My children were expected to swallow the force fed fact that they were to respect other cultures and religions while their own personal beliefs were to remain squashed and quiet. Now I have heard that it would be unchristian of my and of my offspring of they were not accepting of others. Though I believe that that there is a difference between acceptance and disrespect. If you expect me to respect your beliefs, then don't disrespect mine!!!

Now back to my moment of Holy Crow. We moved to a smaller community, actually we moved to farm ville. Not that this is a bad thing, the people in our new community are very friendly, and very accepting. They say Merry Christmas and my little man is having a Christmas party!!! Not a holiday party, not a multicultural holiday celebration, but an honest to goodness Christmas party. People here don't take offense to you wishing them Merry Christmas. This includes the staff at the schools, the shops, the restaurants. Christianity is still alive and well here on Earth.

a reading from the "book of plasma."

So the pertinent question of the day: "How many days until Christmas?" This is asked by my hazel eyed little man, who is of the ripe old age of seven. He is the absolute incarnate of Christmas wonder, his countdown begins in October and he waits with patience that would rival that of the saints in heaven above for December 1st. Why December 1st? Ahhh, well this is when he begins his own official countdown to what he considers the best holiday on the planet. Now my little man has two older siblings, both in middle school, one teetering the belief of the man in the red suit and one teen age sibling who has not believed in santa since the 4th grade. Now I would much rather wrap things and place them under the tree rather than stuff packages in every single unused crevice that I can find. Yet, the absolute amazement that this little guy brings to the holidays is amazing. His resounding joy for the holiday fills the house with his multiple choruses of jingle bells, Rudolph, frosty, and the 12 days of Christmas, he can be heard in the upstairs bathroom belting out the holiday top twenty at the top of his little lungs, leaving the rest of the house in fits of hysterical laughter. (he prefers this room due to the echo effect that the large room provides) The addition of the traditional chocolate filled advent calendar has added some interesting moments. For those not familiar with the advent calendar, it's a cardboard calendar with 24 little doors, behind each door is a small treat, this is to "countdown the days until the holiday." The one we have at home has small chocolates and on the door are a small bible reading. So, my little man takes his turn reading from the book of Psalms. He concludes this by saying "this is from the book of plasma."

Frosty, Jingle Bells, Rudolph, cookies, chocolate, trees, candy canes and now readings from the book of plasma....ahhh another christmas memory....thank you little man.

so how much does one have to pay it forward in order to feel better???

So....I have noticed an interesting trend in people this holiday season....the amazing trend of I have been so selfish that I MUST do something nice for humanity, that I MUST pay it forward.....News flash folks, atonement does not happen when you place that loose change in the red kettle, or when you decided that you should cut back since you have had a cut in pay, when last few years you spent every extra dime that you had or did not have in a gluttonous shopping spree or when you mail a few Christmas cards to soldiers, when last year you could have cared less. These two sins are referenced in Charles Dickens story "A Christmas Carol"...The spirit finally reveals to Scrooge two emaciated children, subhuman in appearance and loathsome to behold, clinging to his robes, and names the boy as Ignorance and the girl as Want. The spirit warns Scrooge, "Beware them both, and all of their degree, but most of all beware this boy, for on his brow I see that written which is Doom, unless the writing be erased."
Ok why the reference you ask, well dear bloggers, Ignorance and Want seem to be a theme that I have watched all year this year. Through the circle of individuals that I have or had considered to be my friend....yet, no matter the level of giving that they have received from me, whether it be in assistance, a listening ear or monetary flow, I have seen the same two children that appeared under that ghosts robes....ignorance and want....people wanting more and more and me being ignorant enough to believe that they were honest in their intention of being a friend. That when they realized that there was nothing else to be had that they have moved onto bigger and better people. Remember this quote kids..."water finds it's own level."
So in a way this blog is a warped dedication to those out there who used what they could and have moved on and are now trying desperately to grasp at straws to make yourselves feel better, the one thing is, I won't name names, so please don't ask....you know who you are....and fyi.....there is no atonement for ignorance and want....no matter how hard you try....the best thing you can do is offer an apology to the person...who's feelings you stepped on....and hope that atonement would be offered in the form of them accepting your apology.

The ghosts of Christmas past.....

We are now a grand total of 15 days before Christmas. Now mind you the barrage of shopping reminders that fill of all the stores, ads on television, radio and internet (especially the annoying pop up variety.)
This year I can't but help think about this time last year, when I was discussing Christmas past with my cousin Chris. Through a few email correspondence and a few scanned email photos, there was a rather sweet article written about the hilarity of Christmas past. My grandparents, prior to retiring to the U.P.) used to have Christmas Day at their house on Anglin street in Detroit. About my Grandma's jello molds, the big tree lights that my grandpa used to put on the tree, (the type that should be on the outside of the house.) and how the four of us grand kids would unscrew the bulbs and rearrange them on the tree so the colors were all in sequence. We did it to drive grandpa crazy, he would have to mix them up again. How we would sit on the end of the bed and entertain each other by singing songs and putting on shows in the bedroom mirror. Unbeknownst to many, my cousin and I often chatted via email in regards to life and sports and the articles that he was writing. As I sit here writing this tonight it's with a sense of sadness and loss. By now some crazy holiday edition of "Understanding Ogryski" would have been published and I, like many of his faithful readers, know that there will not be one this Christmas. We lost him this year and let's be honest, 35 years on this corporeal plane isn't enough. I came across that last December article and had to laugh at the photo of he and his sister Heather at ages 2 and probably 9 months, as she had him in what we called the "headlock of love," and the photos of the four of us kids, sitting on the sofa in Detroit and then later at my aunt's house in Sterling Heights.
I have to say that I have missed my December conversations this year, the great debates on sporting events and on how kids should see the holidays. I miss the very intelligent journalist that wrote with wit and from the heart. So, dear bloggers, I would ask you to keep this in mind this holiday season. Take a look at those around you, the ones that you hold near and dear to your hearts, then take a look at those who absolutely drive you up the wall. Take a moment and be thank full for the lessons that each and everyone of them have to teach us all. Dear Cousin, thank you for all of your wonderful articles, the hilarious debates and tributes to sports and to family, and know that they are missed and so are you.

In loving memory of Christopher March 14th, 1975- January 28th, 2010.

Life's cheap....it's the groceries that are expensive.

The economy seems to be a black hole surrounding every working family in America today. I have noticed a recent barrage of grocer ads on the television, online, in the paper and even in my mailbox, all promising the lowest, cheapest prices. Double coupons, frequent shopper points and in store savings.
The one thing that I have noticed as I have shopped, is that most of the local grocers have not only raised prices, but they have limited the quantities of items on the shelves. Now, I have taken into consideration the cost of gas and shipping, but really, does a box of Kraft mac and cheese have to cost $1.50? Aldi's sells mac and cheese that tastes just as goof for $.39 a box. You can buy 10 boxes for $3.90 there, cereal costs 1.49-1.89 for the store brand. Kroger brand (and not the extra value) starts at $2.99, let's face it folks frosted flakes are frosted flakes, pour a them in a bowl, add milk and you would not know the difference.
Frequent shopper points: Shop with us and receive a point for every dollar and you will be able to use these for..blah...blah...blah. Ok, stores do this to bring in loyalty, great hook, I'm in, I have those little plastic key tags for every local store. These have become the electronic equivalent of the green stamp, but instead of pasting squares to a card, the purchases are saved and usually logged at the end of the receipt. Now, depending on the store, it can be a LONG time before you ever have enough points to make the purchases worth while. Some stores use the accrued dollar amount, such as a $10.00 coupon for every $150.00 spent. A pain. One of the best stores for coupons is Justice. This is a girls clothing chain, I signed up for emails and have received 40% coupons on a regular basis. This includes the ENTIRE purchase and sale items!!!! My daughter loves the clothing and lets face it 40% off makes a HUGE difference at the end of the register bill.

I would love to hear your opinions on store deals, register cards, frequents shopper cards and coupons. Your favorites and not so favorites.

Mass Chaos...or as I like to call it the kids have gone back to school.

Mass Chaos.....or as I like to call it The kids have gone back to school.


A moment of silence and a hot coffee....ahhhh..... Why is this bliss you ask? Easy, my darling children (ok, my cabin fevered spawn) have returned to school after two weeks of holiday break. The last week of break was spent indoors due to the unpredictably of Midwest winter weather, plummeting the temperatures into the single and negative digits. This morning, the headed off to their respective buildings of learning, bundled like Eskimos, the only visible parts of their faces being their eyes. So I stuffed snow pants into the backpacks of my grade schoolers and my middle schooler actually left the house wearing his hat, gloves and scarf, (as he said his friends can be idiots and be cold, he'd rather be warm). We drove around the block, and yes I drove around the block, it was a balmy 9 degrees and I could not believe the number of children that were without hats, gloves, scarfs, boots and even heavy winter jackets!!! Parents were letting children out of their cars like this!!! WHAT????? Really, you would send your child to school dressed in a sweatshirt and no coat because you drove them to school? COME ON!!!
There are families in our school that have been the recipients of hat, coat and glove donations, but these are not the families that I am referring to.
Now over and over I have heard such excuses as well, she gets too hot, he just doesn't want to, he's picky about what he wears, we didn't have time to find everything this morning.
When did our generation stop parenting? When did we insist on being friends instead of moms and dads? When did we start to think that dressing cool was much more important that keeping our children healthy?
So my question of the day to any and all parents, grandparents and caregivers, how do you handle your child's request or demands of fashion? Are you a slave to the fashion industry? Does your child have to have the latest in shoes and jeans or is your families fashion more practical ruled by the family budget?

Why am I still awake.....

Ahhh, the million dollar question of the evening seems to be "why am I still awake?"

Are there any other readers out there that suffer from what I have always referred to as the after effects of the holiday rush, the go, go, go and run, run, run. I have always wondered how many other moms out there suffer from the too much coffee, what can I do, too much to still syndrome. What I mean by this is we seem to dash like mad in an attempt to accomplish all of our holiday tasks. We shop, wrap, clean, cook, bake, drive to concerts, plays and school shop nights. We assist in class parties, bake sales, food drives and when the holidays end, we find ourselves exhausted and in desperate need for a weeks worth of sleep. Yet here I sit, with a case of laryngitis, wide awake and wondering why this is. My friends joke that it may be the several pots of coffee that I manage to consume on a daily basis, (ok, that may have something to do with it.) So my question of the evening (or early morning as it has now become) how many other moms or dads are still awake and are wondering why.

Holidays 2009

Since writing has become a passion, well it's almost a secret obsession. I could spend my days being a slave to the written word, if I could find the way to make it profitable, I would. Until that day arrives, I will have to settle for the electronic age and those who perhaps find my musings entertaining.
As I have each year for the past few, I wrote a Christmas letter. Now before you make comments on how I should be saying Happy Holidays, I am a Christian and the last time I checked this was the Christmas season, the celebration of the birth of Christ, not the season of the sale. The season for Hanukkah, the celebration of lights.



Unless we make Christmas an occasion to celebrate all of our blessings, All of the snow in Alaska won't make it white. -Bing Crosby

MOM!!! My ghillies have holes in them! Have you seen my sheet music, I need reeds for my clarinet by tomorrow. (Always said at 8:0O the evening before, when you have to drive 30 minutes to get to the music store that closes at 9:00) I can’t find my library book, (said the morning it is due for class), Hey mom look at my arm from football,(nothing like counting the cleat marks in your child’s arm after they have been stepped on by a team mate at practice) and my favorite (so far) My glasses had an accident (said by the 6 year old who used his face to stop a dodge ball, trashing his two week old eyewear), …Our lives have been filled this year with dance, football, band, work and let’s face it the insanity that I like to call life, (and if you have been in my home, or know me you understand), but this year I am grateful to know how blessed I am that my children are healthy, that we have a roof over our heads and dinner on the table each evening. Our family has spent the year shifting into a new school routine. Jake started jr. high, Sarah Grace the 5^th grade and Joshua 1^st grade, everyone is in school all day long. We spent our summer as always with the highland dance community, (not only is Sarah Grace competing, but Joshua as well,) traveling all over the United States and Canada and spent our family vacation at the U.S.I.R in Nashville TN. In the fall we saw three honor roll report cards, watched Jakob play football for Bemis and now we look forward to his band concerts and the science olympiad. Our winter will be filled with family and friends as always and I have come to love that our days are busy to the point of insanity.

There are many families in our school, in our church parish and in our community who are not so blessed. I found myself pondering this quite a bit this season as we have participated in several fundraisers for families in the elementary school that my younger children attend, that included a used toy sale and bake sale to raise money for needy families in our school and again when my jr high school student came home and asked me for 10 cans of food for the drive at his school, evidence that the economic decline was alive and well in our own neighborhood. Another friend, who had quoted Martin Neimoller made me stop and think again… “I didn’t speak up because I was not…. and when they came for me, there was no one left to speak up.” How many of us feel like we are the last one, the one without help or hope, had those days that we are at the end of our rope, I have never been the one to remain quiet and in the corner (ok, you can stop laughing now…) but have discovered that my example has my children doing the same. Speaking up, helping others that need it, knowing that it is by good deeds that we are human, that we are Christian,……that we spoke up.

"So I challenge you, as you finish up your holiday shopping, baking and activities, remember that some where in all of that madness there is someone who needs your voice, your time, whether it is 5 minutes or 5 years, give that gift to them, give them your time, your voice and your love, I look forward to hearing your voice.